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I am not made for this world. I don't want to take part in the exchange dynamic of it. Give something for something else. It isn't to say that i like to be a parasite but i'd like for once in my life to not feel the preassure of "if not, then". I feel like i'm trying very hard to keep everyone in my life, not that i have many, i'm emotionless most of the time. tired, sad, angry, anxious. those are the most emotions i feel. It's been a long time since i felt comfortable in my own skin, like i am worth something. Always feeling "not quite there". Not enough, work harder, harder, harder...for what ? They all leave eventually.
