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It feels like I'm just waking up for the first time in a long time.
I'm in my early thirties now. I spent the last decade training and studying. Right when I started college, I lost the girl I thought I would marry and grow old with. After that I threw myself into work because I had nothing else left. I trusted that my hard work would eventually pay off, sometimes, and all make sense. I'm now finished and in what I thought was my dream job.
But I ask myself about many things in my life whether I actually want everything the way it is now - and when I decided what I actually want. I can't remember the last time I asked myself this question. It feels like for a very long time I just functioned and never asked myself where I wanted to go in this life.
It feels like I'm just waking up for the first time in a long time.