>>6529042Hey, Anon--It's time. You're due to forgive yourself.
I also fucked up an amazing relationship when I was in my 20s (that's when we do it), then suffered in another for 14 years based off of guilt, anger, resentment which who the hell knows where it actually started but ultimately was felt towards myself, but directed at her.
Finally got the courage to end it (absolutely terrifying and heart breaking), and the shame and guilt are finally giving way to acceptance.
Funny about the wall paper--for the duration I had been obsessed with papes showing single objects in isolated, lonely but meaningful places.
Not anymore. it took fourteen years, but it's done. Give yourself a chance, forgive yourself. You're human, not perfect, and that's okay.
