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i'm still stuck in my 4 year rut. I can't motivate myself to change anything. i get up at 5:45 every morning to go to the same dead-end job every day. I eat mostly garbage and then complain that the reason i don't lose weight is because my days don't have enough time for a gym routine. all my friends moved on to bigger and better lives, but i stayed. i'm wallowing. i'm in my own way. i simply cannot come up with the strength to change, to move. happiness is utterly elusive and i'm not doing a goddam thing to catch it.