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I don't know. I've been better. Everything just feels kinda empty. I'm very lonely, but I'm in a place where I just can't see myself being with anyone. I'm too much of a clusterfuck of nichey interests and wants, plus I'm getting too old and I'm going bald, which would be bad enough on it's own. The boys I like don't like guys like me. I just wish I had someone to hang out with and cuddle and do dumb romantic stuff with.
I was supposed to be a good student but I lost interest, so now I'm in a job that doesn't pay much and isn't going anywhere. It's based in one of my hobbies though so that's a bonus at least. I have no idea where I'm going. And that worries me, because I don't really have any ambitions any more.
My best friend has been going through a really bad patch for a while now and she pretty much relies on me to keep her sane and alive. I don't mind, because she's helped me out a lot, but it's taxing when it's every day for over a year. She doesn't really have anyone else. I'd probably have killed myself a while ago if I didn't feel so awful about leaving her.
I just don't know any more. I hate my appearance, I'm a shitty person, I have no direction, and I'm sad and lonely. I don't know what to do. Everything feels so hopeless.
