>>77014682 years later, I was still broken, but viable again. I completed my bachelor's degree and moved to another town for my master's. I still couldn't trust other girls, so I had no relationships but on-and-off things. It was okay for me. I wasn't really happy with my life, but it was okay and I said to myself, one day everything would be fine and I would be truly happy again, just not now.
I completed my master's and finally met a girl that was more than just sex. I could make myself trust her, we began a relationship, and we are still together. She is wonderful, and for the first time after my old gf, I slowly could think again about having a family some day.
At the beginning of 2020 I visited the hometown of my old gf again, first time after we broke up, for work related stuff. I thought I was over the whole thing, but I was wrong. I was there, wandered the streets and all the places I was with her, remembered every kiss and every night we shared, every laugh and every moment we were happy in, every dream we had about our future. Something dark awakened in me again, and the pain came back.
I don't know what to do, really. I realised, that there is - and probably will always be - a part of me, that loves my old gf. And that's tearing me apart.
