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good luck, OP, it seems like you're going through a fuckload of apeshit right now and I'm sure it seems hard to keep yourself motivated...but you are 20 - most people barely finished school and never really worked at that age... it is enough time for you to start over, fail at everything, and start a third time... there are enough girls for everyone, you can always get a better job than the current, and fuck cars - ride a bike ;)