>>6677616>and being drunk and fairly desperate since I didn't know if or when I'd get to see her again, it did not come out well or how I wanted it to.Anon, this is 4chan and it doesn't really mean shit to say it, but I've been there too. I'll give you some advice, but you gotta do what fits your life and your situation. Take it with a grain of salt.
Something that helped me heal is taking a more active role in some little way, even just to be properly rejected. Ambiguity is useless for the healing process, and the more of that lays around, the slower it will be to move on.
For your consideration: doing nothing will leave you as you are now for some time.
Trying to become more engaged with other people will give you some distractions, but until those other things grow more important than your old flame, you'll be the same as you are now.
Trying to talk to her more directly will likely lead to you being rejected. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Worst case, she wont answer. In fact, I'd go as far as saying it's likely she wont answer. But fuck it, consider doing it - not to 'get with her' or speak with her again, but just to do *something*. Consider contacting her just to make it clear she's not interested. To allow yourself to feel a little upset that, if you were such good friends, she couldn't find the time to respond or talk.
The hardest thing for me in the healing process, anon, was allowing myself to see she really wasn't interested. To be upset with her for caring so little, for being so tactless. And then? To leave it at that. To feel mad, to be mad, but to let go. Do your best, conduct yourself with an eye towards being open toward communication, treat everything like a chance to learn more about yourself, and slowly try to set your sights on something besides her.
Time gives you the constant chance to move on, it pushes you slowly toward healing, but it can't do it by itself.
