>>8064098A setback is not a failure. It's just a setback. If you quit, then you fail. Things won't get better if you quit. Keep fighting.
>>8063894Sounds like you keep putting yourself in the friend zone. After weeks of talking she thinks you just want to be friends. She also may think you're out of her league. Or perhaps she wasn't as similar to you as you thought she was? If so, bullet dodged. Either way, be more upfront about preferring to know people before dating them. It might help.
>>8063368I'm the same way. It used to really bug me. You know what I learned? A monster is a monster due to what they do, not what they are. Just because you're a sadist doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. So don't be an asshole. The hate you feel is likely is there due to stigma for being what you are. Let others opinions go, especially when you're just projecting what they might think if they knew. They don't know, it's all in your head. Stop tearing yourself up.
Find a healthy outlet for your urges, too. Video games can help if it's just bloodlust, but if it's something deeper you may want to apprentice yourself under a decent dom. Learn from him, and be hones with him. It can really help you find who you are. And once you find who you are and can come to terms with it, your bondage scene friends can help you find people who want to be handled roughly.
