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So much mental illness and depression in this thread.
As someone who has been down that road, the best advice I can give is:
GET SOME EXERCISE AND FIX YOUR DIET (also get your drugs and alcohol under control)
Even if you just start by going for a vigorous 30 minute walk once a day or just eating less of what you're already eating, start with that. Work up to doing more vigorous cardio and start cutting junk food out of your diet, except as an occasional treat.
Just making those basic changes can go a long way toward getting through the depression. And obviously if you are drinking to excess or doing other drugs regularly, start setting limits for yourself and sticking to them. Find some self-discipline.
If you exercise regularly, eat fairly healthily, and don't have dependence on drugs and you're STILL extremely depressed, then maybe it's time to seek help and try some medication.
But if you are not confident about the healthiness of your diet and physical activity levels, start there.
