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This is the best thread I've seen in a long time on any board.
I was a severe alcoholic at 21 after I got fired from an internship. I was an "it" kid for a while. Went to a nerdy school and was jacked, got decent grades. You let it become part, then the entirety of your personality. When you have a major failure, it just destroys you. You have to rebuild all the way from the very base. I'm not sure if what I'm building is the best thing, any more. All my friends have long passed me up. After a major health incident related to the drinking, I went through a monitored withdrawal and now barely ever drink or smoke weed.
My loneliness in finishing college after a two year gap is a quiet desperation. I work just to pretend like I'm catching up to my old friends who haven't talked to me in years, but I know they're far beyond me. I'll graduate with over six figures in debt. My parents are hopelessly debt riddled in their old age. My brother stole money from us - we haven't seen him in years except for showing up to court.
Basically, everything is a wreck but I'm rebuilding. It feels like pulling into the parking lot at the end of a hard week to a shift you just know is going to be really tough. There's just so much work, ahead. And it has to be done well, or I will end up in mediocrity. And that is what scares me the most.