You know, you guys, you strangers, wherever you may be while you are reading this, you'll be the only people to whom I will speak earnestly about my life right now.I spent the past 5 years steeped in delusions of grandeur, telling myself that I'm better than other people and destined to do great things, and I insulated myself from reality with video games and movies. Video games were a particularly bad vice, I channeled my delusions into them as I charged the beaches of Normandy and turned back the tide of Nazi Germany, grew my small nation into an empire of unfathomable power, defeated Cesar's legion and the NCR in one fell swoop and traveled through the omega relay to the center of galaxy to stamp out the collector threat to humanity.I was charming, powerful, rich, admired, respected and feared, and then in August of 2015 reality hit like a fucking locomotive.I'm a fucking mess, I'm 23, no degree, shit job, soft body, cavities in my mouth, socially awkward, i have an overpowering tendency to procrastinate and I feel week and discouraged.I've been sinking lower and lower into vices and depression, Video games were a drug, something I used to anesthetize myself from a painful reality.
The universe is just a beautiful and magnificent place but there is no true meaning to it. We are merely thrown into it for a short period of time to experience it's majesty, and we can shorten or lengthen our time here based on our actions. So I'm dedicating 2016 to turn my life around, it's gonna be hard, no doubt about it, I'm to much of a bitch to have basic conversations with people and I leave my room only for food like a fucking rabbit.I will get discouraged often no doubt but I know one thing, I don't want to squander my only life, I want fresh mountain air in my lungs, challengers and aspirations,love, heartbreak, hope and growth, to leave a legacy for my children and to be an inspiration to those in need, and I'm gonna get it, I fucking swear /wg/, however hard it may be.
