my mind is hell
my thoughts hurt me
thinking hurts me
I'm hurting
I need to be distracted
I need to escape from myself
my thoughts
it's terrible
this feeling
I just want to escape
I want to seek solace in simple pleasures
I just want a piece of mind
why do I keep torturing myself
why
why am I suffering
is this really necessary
I'm also hurting my family
and I'm hurting just thinking about it
they don't deserve to live with misery that's spilling out of my mind
I care about them
and I'm really sad things turned out like this
I had a wonderful childhood
they did everything for me
they had high hopes for me
they showered me with love and attention
but I failed them
I failed myself
I'm nothing
I'm a failure
they're ashamed of me
I can imagine the awkward moments when their coworkers ask something about me
they're probably on the brink of tears
I'm a ruin
I had such potential
I've squandered it all
I've sunk into shame
pathetic
worthless