>>7656239Life sucks. I am lagging behind in my classes because I decided to 10 credit hours, full time work, and work with the Army Reserve. All the while I've been trying to save up for a vehicle and move out of my folk's place (which is even harder cause I have to pay rent).
I finally got a old ass vehicle, just need to put some paperwork through. On top of all this pressure I constantly see myself dead in corner with only myself to blame. I think about dying from handguns, trains, rope, you name it. I can't tell anybody about my ideation, because then I would lose my job with the military, and thus my chance at school. This depression was supposed to leave me, but it doesn't. It' s a never ending demon that is always lurking, always brewing beneath the lake of my soul.That's what's on my mind.