So quite embarrassing, dispute what I have said here in the past, to be completely honest I actually do enjoy making this sort of art as a still unfortunately autistic person, I guess it's was just jealousy that other people my age and who have drawn for as long as me are a lot better than me at art + feeling like pretending my art isn't even me and bullying it makes me look all cool and in with society but, in the end I've decided to accept that, all of that just wasn't ever for me and instead I'll continue to do what I actually love doing, making art and hoping eventually it will go from somewhere decent to actually good soon! sorry