>>8098416probably nobody reads this, so I dont mind making it my personal blog post.
I've been in all these /comfy/ places, Ive seen all the 'atmosphere' on this site in person. Ive lived in the swiss alps and seen the grandeur of its steep cliffs, ive lived in osaka and walked along the suburb roads in the morning in summer. I've had a nice job where I got to do what would basically be a hobby for others and travel almost everywhere.
But I wish I never did it. I wish I never left home. A simple life is a good life because its full of wonder. Dopamine releases at the anticipation of an event and much less so in the event itself. I used to browse this board over a decade ago and always looked at these papes with fondness. Something made me revisit this board this evening while I sit alone in my city apartment with a view just like that. Everything's become so familar, its no longer a foreign world, its no longer inspiring. I see each of these images in context. That is, real life cannot be captured in a warm or intriguing image, the idea you have of these worlds comes from a position of detachment. You think there is another world over there, but its all the same. People are the same when you don't know them, days are short when you're busy, moments are still empty when you're alone. There needs to be a heartfelt experience to go with it. This is something I admit that i've not not had. The only images that move me now, are those that relate to my childhood. Im no longer inspired, im alone, and the hope of a meaningful future is an idea I no longer permit into my mind. I wish I could have donated my life to someone who could appreciate it. I always felt such a guilt for never being able to truly enjoy the beauty of the places ive lived and worked. Most of these papes remind me of the hollowness I felt when I first beheld these beautiful scenes with my own eye. At a certain point life goes stale, and your heart turns inside you and never stops looking back.
