>>1293098Her problems are also permanent and unfixable
She can't get rid of her bipolar disorder
She can't unrape herself
She can't undo the damage cocaine addiction did to her
And yet, she's still going despite it all.
I never thought I'd look up to a girl, but she amazes me how much she has gone through and how, despite it all, she's the most compassionate and caring person I have ever met (when she isn't in a depressive episode from BPD, but she can't control that other than self isolating which is what she does).
She is the reason I put myself out there now and am willing to get my life in order and improve my situation.
If she had succeeded in killing herself, I would still be a shut in who can't drive and has acne riddled face and didn't work out or make new friends, but her failing led to her meeting me and helping me fix my life.
I wonder what will happen if you stick around, you never know. There is no way she knew she would become my surrogate big sister and help me get to where I'm going back when she was attempting suicide.
I get its hard to see a viable future now, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
