Quoted By:
>8th, September 1921
>Dear Mr. Edmund Hodgson Smart
>I would like my presidential portrait to depict me nervously gripping my throbbing Jerry, ideally in the bushes at night, while peering sheepishly through an eerie opening in the shadowy undergrowth at the illustrious U.S. Capitol Building (no, I don't work there). As natural lighting at night in the woods is lacking for the purposes of such a portrait, perhaps I might suggest an organic source of illumination which should be sufficient for such a tableaux: The flashbulb of a muckraking photojournalist happening upon me in this my most intimate of moments; as I turn my head and attempt to hide my pallid Jerry with my fumbling sweaty hands away from the prying lens, I am ignited and recorded forever in the most humiliating of circumstances: Stimulating myself to impure thoughts of a drenched Mrs. Pouterson. I intend to convey an expression of profound embarrassment.
>Hope you are well, and looking forward to your feedback on this matter.
>Warren G. Harding
>P.S. The smaller you paint my Jerry, the better.
