>>1293138One more thing I will say is that for her, getting medically diagnosed and medicated for her bipolar really helped her turn her life around. Before she got medicine for it she would try to fix things by running away across the world and making a new life with a clean slate, but the same demons would always come back and she would just make things worse and worse because her brain quite literally could not function consistently due to BPD.
I don't know specifics about your problems or life but there very well could be something missing that medicine could provide. I understand the fear of becoming reliant on drugs like that but it helped her fix her life and now she works for a large university (Not naming which but if you heard it you would know it no matter where in the world you are.)
She is also a very nice person, people who have gone through shit tend to be more empathetic to others because they understand what its like on a personal level.
If no matter what you try you still just want to kill yourself, there might be things that only being diagnosed and medicated can solve.
