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I assumed that my mobo/RAM was at fault, and so decided to purchase a new mobo/RAM/CPU combo (I wanted an upgrade from DDR4 to DDR5 anyway). Additionally, I figured it would be easiest to back up my drives and re-install Windows as well, to bypass any security issues changing a mobo with the same Windows install might create.
New mobo, new RAM, new CPU, new OS. Didn't help. I got immediate, frequent BSODs after the change. Extra fun: the BSODs look crazy now, giving a weird, garbled image of eight or more BSOD errors all overlapping each other, with what looks like a bunch of thread readouts under them. The image is so fucking distorted that I can't even read the stop code half the time. On the bright side, Reliability Monitor actually manages to get minidump files, which I analyzed with WinDBG. So far, the crashes are always the result of various applications on my computer (almost never the same one twice) and the only similarity between crashes is that they're related to my nt module.
I've (as of today) extensively tested or exchanged every component of my PC except for the case, case fans and cables. Every other component functions with absolute reliability when swapped to another PC. Still, my PC is unusable, crashing or hard-freezing within an hour of booting without exception.
If someone could help me, I'd appreciate it. I'll be returning to this thread regularly for the next several days. I'm kind of at the end of my rope here, and am honestly considering selling the entire fucking thing and buying a prebuilt.