/wsr/ - Worksafe Requests » Thread #119830

[24 / 9 / ?]

English Abstract, is my english correct?

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 22:43:42 No.119830 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>119841 >>119855 >>119866 >>119897

Alright /wsr/, I'm finalizing my final project from university. I'm not an native english speaker but the english abstract is obligatory.

Is my english correct?

Here it goes:

Mobile development has massively grown over the last years, becoming one of the most important computing subjects ever. The Swift programming language is making it easier for new programmers to enter the mobile development world through iOS app creation. This research has the goal to introduce the basic concepts of the Swift programming language, go through and extensive explanation of an iOS calculador app and demonstrate, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

What can must I fix? Or is it ok already?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 22:50:08 No.119834 Report

Quoted By:

A few things have to be corrected, but I am no native speaker either, so I will pass.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 22:56:23 No.119841 Report

Quoted By: >>119852 >>119855 >>119859 >>119865

>>119830
>The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation, and is making it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development . In this research*, we introduce the basic concepts of Swift, go through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrate, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

You're not paid by the word and neither is your reader. Trim the waffle; save space for more meat later-on.

* It's not really "research" if you're not actually discovering something that no-one's done before. A better word would be "paper" or "study"; ask your supervisor what best characterises your paper.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO hotaru.jpg, 119KiB, 1280x720

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:05:38 No.119849 Report

Quoted By:

Hotaru>Saya

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:07:22 No.119852 Report

Quoted By:

>>119841
Thanks based anon!

wew !!2PdgthNULVC

wew !!2PdgthNULVC Thu 12 May 2016 23:09:27 No.119855 Report

Quoted By:

>>119830
computing subjects -> areas of computing
to introduce -> of introducing
go through and -> going through an
calculador -> calculator
and demonstrate -> and demonstrating

but also this >>119841

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:17:49 No.119859 Report

Quoted By:

>>119841
>we introduce the basic...
wew is it ok to use "we" even though I'm doing this study alone?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:30:26 No.119865 Report

Quoted By: >>119873

>>119841

was having some problems on the backward translation of "we introduce the basic"... I changed it to:

> The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation, and is making it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development . This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, go through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrate, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

Do you think it's pretty? Thanks for the help anyways.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:31:01 No.119866 Report

Quoted By: >>119872 >>119879

>>119830
There's actually a lot more than I first thought. Just the first sentence:
>Mobile development has massively grown over the last years, becoming one of the most important computing subjects ever.

First:
>mobile development
This is vague. Do you mean the development of mobile phones, mobile OS, or mobile apps/software? Mobile networks? Be specific.

Second:
>has massively grown
Awkward adverb usage here. It's awkward because try to imagine something "massively" growing. Not growing massive/large, but going through growth in a "massive" way. It doesn't really generate a coherent visual image. If this were a creative writing assignment I'd say good on you for concocting an unusual description that makes you think, but that's exactly the opposite of what you want in a serious academic paper, much less the opening abstract. Typically you'd describe it in terms of speed, like "rapidly grown."

Third:
>over the last years
Omitted word, I'm assuming it was "last few years" or else a number. I'd go with a number if you can in any way prove or substantiate it. Using hard numbers makes it look like you know what you're talking about instead of just blowing smoke.

Lastly consider removing the passive voice to make it sound more dynamic.

The last part:
>becoming one of the most important computing subjects ever
This is a sentence fragment tacked on to the first part which is a complete clause that you could end in a period. You need a conjunction here to append it, and you need to adjust the tense so it actually fits with the first part of the sentence. The first part is in past tense and the second part is present participle, it's jarring and grammatically nonsensical.

>most important
That's a bold claim and nigh-impossible to prove in your paper. Don't oversell it. Call it very important, significant, crucial, etc.

>ever
Chop this off, it sounds like you're a kid on the playground.

On to sentence 2.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 12312324155.jpg, 46KiB, 607x1080

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:36:11 No.119871 Report

Quoted By: >>119885

OP here, it changed already:

Latest version:

> The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation, and is making it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development . This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, go through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrate, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1452454852899.jpg, 86KiB, 487x460

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:37:15 No.119872 Report

Quoted By: >>119885

>>119866
OP here, it changed already:

Latest version:

> The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation, and is making it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development . This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, go through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrate, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:38:27 No.119873 Report

Quoted By: >>119883

>>119865
>This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, goes through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrates, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

All the verbs in the list are things the study does, and need to be conjugated accordingly.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:42:53 No.119879 Report

Quoted By:

>>119866
>This is a sentence fragment tacked on to the first part which is a complete clause that you could end in a period.
It's not "tacked on"; "X Ys, Z-ing W" is a perfectly grammatical sentence.

In "Anon gives poorly-researched advice, confusing OP", for example, the dependent clause "confusing OP" is in no way "tacked-on", but grammatical, standard usage.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1457916487187.png, 129KiB, 600x600

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:46:17 No.119883 Report

Quoted By:

>>119873

> The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation, and is making it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development . This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, goes through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrates, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

I did it r-right?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:46:54 No.119885 Report

Quoted By: >>119887 >>119889

>>119871
>>119872
I'll start from here then.
>The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation, and is making it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development.
The first thing that jumps out is that "Swift programming language" reads out loud like you're saying the programming language is swift, as in fast. The capitalization makes it visually clear that Swift is a proper noun, but grammatically it is otherwise ambiguous. Strongly recommend changing this for maximum clarity. Also consider reading your sentences out loud, you often only catch stuff that sounds weird when you do this.

>app creation, and
You don't need that comma. You only put a comma before "and" if the two clauses being joined are independent, but the second clause of your sentence is dependent on the first, so no comma is necessary to join the two.

>is making it easier
Just say "makes it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile [app] development".

>This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, go through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrate, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app
Adjust tenses to be consistent, e.g.
>This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, goes through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrates, step by step, the creation of an interactive "hello world" app.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:50:39 No.119887 Report

Quoted By:

>>119885
>Swift programming language" reads out loud like you're saying the programming language is swift, as in fast. The capitalization makes it visually clear that Swift is a proper noun, but grammatically it is otherwise ambiguous. Strongly recommend changing this for maximum clarity. Also consider reading your sentences out loud, you often only catch stuff that sounds weird when you do this.
Absolutely disagree.

This is a paper for a technical audience, all of whom will already know what Swift is.

Plus, as you concede, it's already unambiguously marked as a proper noun.

Finally, written English and spoken English are /different/. You shouldn't be using a technique such as "reading out written English to see how it sounds as spoken English"; that way lies madness.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:50:44 No.119888 Report

Quoted By:

download adobe reader
worked for itt bro

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:52:40 No.119889 Report

Quoted By: >>119891

>>119885
>>app creation, and
>You don't need that comma. You only put a comma before "and" if the two clauses being joined are independent, but the second clause of your sentence is dependent on the first, so no comma is necessary to join the two.
Oxford Comma/Harvard Comma; google it. You may disagree with its usage, but a statement that it's flat-wrong is itself flat-wrong.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 11849996943222.jpg, 79KiB, 700x524

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:53:07 No.119890 Report

Quoted By:

**** FINAL *****

> The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation and makes it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development. This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, goes through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrates, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

***** FINAL *******

I mean, it' final, r-right?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:54:54 No.119891 Report

Quoted By: >>119900

>>119889
so the comma must come back? fuckkkkkkkkkkkk

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1456696167467.jpg, 145KiB, 1440x1080

Anonymous Thu 12 May 2016 23:57:20 No.119894 Report

Quoted By:

THE FINAL FINAL VERSION:

> The Swift programming language facilitates iOS app creation, and makes it easier for new programmers to enter the burgeoning field of mobile development. This study introduces the basic concepts of Swift, goes through an extensive explanation of an iOS calculator app, and demonstrates, step by step, the creation of an interactive “hello world” app.

DID I DO IT REDDIT

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO inb4burgeoningreallyakeyword.png, 103KiB, 1468x494

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2016 00:01:54 No.119897 Report

Quoted By:

>>119830
ITS DONE THANKS

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2016 00:03:06 No.119900 Report

Quoted By: >>119902

>>119891
You can have it, or not have it; it's your choice.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1453081431608.jpg, 87KiB, 410x416

Anonymous Fri 13 May 2016 00:04:13 No.119902 Report

Quoted By:

>>119900
I like the comma, so I kept it.

Capcode	All Only User Posts Only Verified Posts Only Moderator Posts Only Manager Posts Only Admin Posts Only Developer Posts Only Founder Posts
Show Posts	All Only With Images Only Without Images Only Spoiler Images Only Non-Spoiler Images
Deleted Posts	All Only Deleted Posts Only Non-Deleted Posts
Ghost Posts	All Only Ghost Posts Only Non-Ghost Posts
Post Type	All Only Sticky Threads Only Opening Posts Only Reply Posts
Results	All Grouped By Threads
Order	Latest Posts First Oldest Posts First

On these archives

Your latest searches

English Abstract, is my english correct?