>>1293109Maybe you think you are locked in because you have told someone your plans, but that isn't really the case.
You chose to make this thread to create a dialogue instead of just googling the question, probably because deep down you want to talk to people and want to get an answer as to why you shouldn't kill yourself.
The more I thought about when I wanted to be dead I didn't want to die, I actually wanted to live, just not the life I was forced into. The life you are forced into is not the life you have to stay in, you can change your life and become the person you want to be in the circumstances you want to be in but you need a plan to get there and steps within the plan to stick to it.
As a last resort before you kill yourself, should you choose to do that, find a male therapist (or female if you are a girl). If he doesn't help then give one more different male therapist a chance. I know therapy sounds stupid and like you are just paying someone to listen to you bitch for a few hours, but seriously just try it you have nothing to lose if you were going to kill yourself anyways.
I am a pretty logical person so I can understand being stuck in my own mind, its why it took seeing someone with my own eyes go through heavy shit and get to a good place to realize I can do it as well. Not only seeing them, but them approaching me to be my friend and go out of their way for me.
That human connection and decency is how I got out of my rut and how you can as well.
Another possible option, look into going into a music festival. It sounds like a very stupid recommendation but the people you find there will be some of the most accepting and nice people you will meet. Its the easiest environment to put yourself out there and make friends because everyone is there solely to have a good time and enjoy the presence of others.
>>1293110I appreciate the kind words but I'd be nowhere without others helping me alone the way. Honestly she is the great human being not me.
