In Episode 26 of the TV series there was a happy ending that showed my mom ( Yui ) had not ACTUALLY died and my dad ( Gendo ) wasn't really a heartless "monster" that had abandoned me :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAssqT43oUgthe ending was intended to have a "feel-good factor" in which I entered an alternate reality that depicted me as a normal 14y.o. boy who just fatasized about the Evangelions, Angels, typical teen boy problems, struggling to have meaningful relationships with female peers ( especially Asuka & Rei ) and imagined parental problems that did not really exist (at least in the alternate reality).
Sadly, a significant proportion of the Evangelion fan-base detested the Ep. 25 & 26 happy ending,
so Hideaki Anno rearranged the ending in accord with the disgruntled fan-bases' wishes, in :
>The End of Evangelionwhich reestablished the aesthetic of the first 24 TV episodes, especially my struggles to be a functional mecha-pilot, to get off with Asuka whom I lusted over (per the opening masturbation scene) and the animosity that I felt towards her and my father :
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=final+scenes+of+End+of+Evangelion... thus paving the way for the four-part Rebuild Series
which utimately reestablished the happy ending, myself with Mari Makinami Illustrious, and all the main characters settling down together in a rejuvenated new world that still needs a lot of work to overcome the complex environmental problems that we've brought upon ourselves.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEENvPmoUYgYou can find deeper analyses on YouTube, but at the end of the day, you are expected to use your own imagination and intellect, to make sense of it all, to your own satisfaction.
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碇 シンジ
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