>>1479439Do you still have your highschool textbooks? Pick one and try to do an exercise. Can't do it? Go back one year. Too easy? Go to the next year. Repeat until you found the place where you started falling behind.
If you don't have your textbooks, people recommend the textbooks from The Art of Problem Solving (AoPS) website. I have no experience with them, but I understand they are thorough.
Serge Lang's "Basic Mathematics" is very dry but it covers all the important basics.
If you actually understand everything from high school, the obvious next steps are Calculus and Linear Algebra.
If you have money, hire a private tutor. It's extremely helpful. Otherwise, just do
However, I strongly recommend that you don't learn mathematics and just live with the fact that you'll always feel you're behind. I have a degree in math and I still have this feeling. Just spend more time with stupid people if you want to feel smart. Those people who make you feel dumb are using you for the same purpose.
The thing is, I actually literally enjoy doing math. Doing exercises and calculations, struggling to understand theorems. I am actually curious, and that's why I know things. I look them up in my free time because I want to know. It is not a chore. It is not a means to an end, it's a hobby for its own sake. And that's with a lot of people on e.g. /sci/. You'll probably never catch up because it takes thousands of hours to understand the basics. (People study full time for a few years.) Longer for you because you don't enjoy it.
Also, it's not like there is one linear curriculum. You can learn a lot about the theory of Finite Groups without ever doing any calculus. Pick something that interests you.
>youtubethat's for entertainment
it may get you in the mood though
as suggested above, Khan Academy etc. are some indian guy doing math on a digital blackboard, it's the same as a textbook but people like it psychologically
>webpagesthat's just textbooks without pagination
