>>747802>See, you think OP's or father's decision is bad, judging by your post.No, not at all. I'm not in a position to judge. I'm assuming OP thinks his decisions are bad, the way he writes about his relative and I'm supposed to give OP advice.
The first complication is that OP is hardly a reliable witness. His account is likely already tainted by his goals. And just in general, I'm convinced that you can love kids that are not your own and that biological paternity is utterly meaningless (except for genetic deseases of course). And finally, this is an emotional issue. I mentioned consent in my very first post. If he's fine with her behavior, if he still loves her - he should absolutely stay with her, even though it's fiscally irresponsible and setting himself up for a nasty break-up in a few years.
>>747798>TraumaHow old are the kids? Since you wrote another is on the way, I assumed they're all under 10, and at least the third still being a toddler? You can just make up a cover story for the cheek swab. Make it a game. Link it to dentistry. And why should the kids question it anyway if dad or (better yet) mommy and daddy together just tell them to do it for reasons.
Besides I still don't get what the endgame here is. Why you or your uncle think a paternity test will matter. Write it out. Make a decision matrix. Does he do the test - yes/no. Is the kid his - yes/no. Does he leave the family - yes/no.
You'll find that the test is not the issue. And even the true biological paternity is mostly irrelevant. It's the decision to leave the family that matters and that is the root of any major trauma to the kids. And none of the available decisions change what kind of a person the wife is. So if he wants to stay, the test can only make things worse (if the kid is not his, he has to love it like his own despite knowing it is not). And if he wants to leave, the test will utterly pale in comparison to the trauma of divorce and not having a father around.
