Hey, guys. If any of you has taken a Latin class or two, I would appreciate a translation of the piece below into Latin.

Don't just run it through Google translate, I know enough to recognize the obvious mistakes that shit will make.

Here it is. Will gibe succ
What in Jupiter's name did you just fucking say about me, you fucking barbarian? I’ll have you know I was elected Consul four consecutive campaigning seasons, and I’ve been involved in numerous battles in Sicily, Iberia and Africa, and have enslaved more than 30,000 Gauls. I am trained in the spear and gladius and am the best horseman in the all of the Roman Republic. You are nothing to me but a fucking plebien. I will conquer you with brutality the likes of which has never been seen before in the mediterranean, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over via a messenger? Think again, barbarian. As we speak I am contacting my fellow senatores from across Roma and you are being tracked right now so you better prepare for the legions, Barbarian. The legions that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your kingdom. You’re fucking dead, barbarian. I can be anywhere in Europe or Africa at anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my pilum. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire Praetorian Guard and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Western Europe, you little pleb. If only you could have known what unholy invasion your little “clever” insult was about to bring down upon your kingdom, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the tribute in blood, you goddamn plebien. I will shit pila all over you and you will drown in olive oil. Veni, Vedi, Vici, you fucking barbarian.