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Download Pimsleur Russian, do a few lessons so you know how to pronounce shit.
Look up cyrillic writing, memorize it. (Spread out over a week or so.)
Find a phrase book and memorize hundreds of sentences like the autist you are. Vocabulary as well. Try to make new sentences by replacing words. It may help to look up and memorize some lyrics to keep you motivated.
For Japanese, do the same except you also need to memorize all the Kanji. Use Heisig's book for that. This is a lot of work.
At some point you're going to have to actually speak to people. I hope they will have sent you your medication by that time.
