Hey, /wsr/, I need a Linux distro that meets the following criteria:

> Has a user interface almost just like Windows
> Installs software easily without needing to fuck around with repositories
> Doesn't require fucking around with configuration files to change minor settings
> Boots up fast
> Has good support for AMD graphics cards
> Runs Windows games well through WINE
> Doesn't suffer from random weird errors caused by unstable software
> Has a good amount of community support
> Supports things like Flash and MP3 playback

Any recommendations? Windoze 7 is giving me trouble, and I'm tired of the quirks and eccentricities Manjaro and Xubuntu have. I'm seriously starting to consider getting a Mac since I'm just that retarded with computers, but I'm poor and running a Hackintosh is more trouble than it's worth.