>>11352710> I have no more leverage in this world, i can't poke too much or i risk getting rekt...I had no leverage in the beginning, either. It was all mental for the first few decades. Presenting as a smiling vibrant suburban citizen on the outside, while being a totally different person on the inside looking out. It feels a bit of intrigue, perhaps somewhat pseudo-conspiratorial in aspect: m against the world, making me smile a bit slyly, fwiw. Powerful. Perspective change, although nothing relly changes.
>one of the things I enjoy still: going out in the clothes I slept in the night before. I did it twice this week, this morning to my special op. NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA. They are clean, not wrinkled. It's my little secret that makes me smile inside and outside. Silly little things that only you, yourself, know.~~~~~~~~
It was only until I could relocate that it was 'sealed', kinda sorta. I did have a house to sell, and came away with enough to buy a good-sized house on a half acre property in a quiet sleepy town for 36k. Peanuts to most, less than a year's rent in some places. Now: all mine.
>keep thinking forward. Changes do not need to be material in nature. Be your own double-agent, so to speak.>St. Augustine? Well, all you really need to know is that he lived a reprehensible, reprobate life....until he didn't. Finally became a Saint. Changed his perspective.
>Don't despair. Spend that energy creating a fantasy world as your mind's background wallpaper. Just some ideas that you might muse upon.
