>>16110363But don't you think that it's bit too soon for you to already give up on the hope of any self-fulfillment? You're not in your mid thirties and wallowing in misery, still. Thinking that it's going to end up that way no matter what doesn't make the odds better.
I think you do have things ahead of you that could change how you look at the possibility of happiness, as long as you do keep going ahead. How about when you get a place to yourself and a clean slate with life? Wouldn't that kind of change in environment open doors for you to enjoy things more, despite your afflictions? That's just one example.
My point is, maybe it's just a bit early to put the stamp on any of these thoughts about what's possible and what isn't. You haven't gotten quite far enough yet to really do so, do you think?
Maybe just try not to think too much about it, and instead focus on moving ahead as you are right now without putting yourself down and dismissing any hope completely. Then see how things end up later on. It's what sounds most sustainable to me, while it's still not too late in life yet.
Otherwise, you're kind of letting things that haven't even happened yet hurt you, without it being guaranteed that they'll happen at all. You don't really know if it's a false hope this early on, and brushing it away as one only lessens the chance of it being true. If it does turn out to have been false hope, then it'd be a shame, but right now it could motivate you to believe that it isn't.
You're thinking of the feelings of the future you and preventing him from having a chance of feeling bad, more than giving the present you more motivation and sustainability.
Up to you if that's good or bad, personally it's a detriment.
Anyhow, I understand it's hard to get yourself to change your stance on things like this, considering what you've already been through. It's okay if you're adamant on it. I hope that you end up getting surprised, still.
