If you're trans, you will never experience this. You will die some unrecognizable freak who evokes disgust in every person you encounter. You will never know what it feels like to be truly masculine or truly feminine. You will never be able to bear children, or if even by some miracle you are, you will never be able to live up to the responsibility of your respective parental role. You will live a life deformed, broken, forever in-between, an androgynous freakish amoeba person until you inevitably take your own life in an act of generosity towards the rest of the world.