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i'm also 20
i think it's unfair to label yourself because that limits the definition of yourself to the boundaries of those labels. we seem to always be changing. we don't even keep the same matter in our bodies as it changes over the course of every seven years, where all the atoms we once had are now different, the whole world different, the position of the earth in the universe different. my boyfriend told me that it's not about making a substantial change, but merely adapting to all the changes that take place in our journey throughout life. maybe you feel stuck in your situation, that nothing you do seems to ever matter, that you will be here forever, and the only way to make a difference is to end the cycle and kill yourself. the matter and energy that made you will still be here, so there is no true escape from this cycle, but i don't think it's a bad thing. we're here to just experience the totality of it all, the human condition and messy emotion that follows. the stupidity and conscious clarity. we're just experiencing this all, traveling through space and time, like warm sounds coming from a distant guitar that echo and fade out. so come with us, and experience what it is to be you, being human. it won't last forever, but that's okay because it always happens again, and we can always be happy it happened at all.
maybe it isn't the game at fault, but the rules you chose to follow while playing the game. when you realize these rules can be broken, you start to realize the real fun to be had, and can finally enjoy yourself.
