>>17785697>WorstSpeeding in Cali. CHP pulls me over, fat White guy, total dick, weird accent “you know why I pulled you over”, yea, bro, I was speeding. “Speedin? You was haulin ass like you were on fire, 73 in a 55(or something similar to that comment)”.
Asked if I had weapons, told him I had a knife for protection cause I’m not old enough to buy a gun. Cop asks me to slowly remove it, I pull a 2-inch Benchmade from my belt(pic related). He flips, “boy, in The Great State of California(he didn’t actually say Great State), that is under the dirk/dagger law and it’s a felony to possess/carry. I could haul your ass in”. I asked him what’s a dirk, he rolled his eyes, then went back to his car after taking info. Came back with same attitude and a ticket for speeding 73 in a 55. Asked if I’m in the military cause he saw decal, I told him “yes, sir, just heading back to base” he responds “just so ya know, it’s 55 all the way back to base”.
Thanks, dick.
>BestFew years after CHP dickhead, Visiting home city on leave, stop at gas station to top off. I hear a clerk yelling “that’s my bike” turn to see random nigger walking out of store with bicycle. I ask whose bike that is, clerk says it’s his bike, and a 2nd cashier also reaffirms bike belongs to guy. I walk up to nog, and grab bike from him, he goes into usual diatribe of “raycis whitey an sheeit” but it was 2007 so “racist” didn’t have as much power. Jogger tries to nog on me but he’s small. I grab him by collar and drag him out of store. Tell jogger to piss off before he gets hurt, Nog can’t calculate loss so he runs at me. I gently place him on ground. Cop pulls into parking lot as I’m pinning him down. “Hey cop, this faggot just tried to steal a bike from the cashier” cop runs up, puts knee on head, and cuffs jogger. Calls for backup, they arrive, puts nog in car, asks me to write statement, talks to 7/11 staff, then arrests jogger.
