>>1784287>Culture consists of gay lumberjacks and syrupOur lumberjacks are very straight and our syrup is the envy of all burgers.
>Can't name their important prime ministersOnly because all of our prime ministers are important and that's too many names to remember.
>(Has no important prime ministers)Lies.
>Vote for national bird was rigged by scientistsOur votes are never rigged.
>Getting bought out by the ChineseWe welcome them as guests, not overlords. Burgers will never understand hospitality.
>Population equivalent to some US statesYour numerical advantage is the only reason we don't beat you in every field.
>Quebec wants to leaveThey don't mean it and the American South hates you more than nos amis Quebecois ever will.
>Has to translate everything into FrenchWe take pride in our culture and French is better than Spanish.
>Keeps apologizing to the Injuns (Oh, excuse me, "First Nations")I'm sorry our politeness makes you feel inadequate in comparison.
>Not important enough to get attacked by terroristsThey just have no reason to hate us.
>Dumps gravy on fries, calls it cuisineYou're just angry we invented it first.
>Silly-looking copsYou wish your mounted police looked as cool as ours.
>Milk bagsVery efficient. You should try them.
>14 feet of snow every winter>Car engines freeze solidWe're not afraid of the weather.
>Summertime everything under constructionThe sign of a strong economy and a progressing society. Canada will never stop building.
>Leeches in your lakesWe take pride in our biodiversity.
>TrudeauA great leader, much better than Trump.
