tl;Dr: WTF do?
Guys, I'm so tired of life. I see how empty it is. I see that all philosophies rest on arbitrarily chosen axioms. I see the changing fashions of pseudointellectuals demanding conformity through praise of Atheism or Christianity or classic books or whatever academia or corporations demand.
I am fully blackpilled about my ugliness disadvantaging me to an incredible degree. I see everyone, even leftists, angrily denying this because ugly beta males are the disposable batteries of society.
My current full time job requires almost no work but if I had to work from 9-5 my life would be practically over. The few weeks I actually stayed from 9-5 in the office were soul crushing and terrifying.
My main hobbies are browsing the internet, walking around central london, drinking coffee, hoping my 20s will spontaneously stop feeling wasted. Of course all that happens is that I feel crushed after seeing Chads and Staceys everywhere. Junk food is currently my main solace.
All sources of pleasure are hierarchies that require more work than my job. Read books? Read these boring classic books. Want to program? Go through these long, theoretical boring books.
I am bitter about everyone having easier lives: normies gliding through institutions filled with normies, judged solely on normieness.
Background:
>aged 26
>no friends or social life since 18
>no female attention ever
>went through university with zero social experiences
>became the loner nobody talks to within two days of my current job
>never been to pub, club, or party
>missed out on all the 16 - 22 formative social experiences that people look back on fondly (teen crushes, school prom, school dances, university fresher's week, any sort of relationships at all)
>know that women all have 5000 tinder matches and think the average male is ugly; seeing attractive women everywhere is demoralising
>feel completely bitter and detached from others due to being an ugly subhuman; lifting weights did nothing
