>>3452613“I-I don't think I'm ready for this, Ajit-chan," said The Internet, watching with teary eyes as the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, Ajit Pai, slowly unzipped his khaki joggers.
"Oh, The Internet-chan," Ajit moaned. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this. You wouldn't want me to be disappointed, would you?"
His eyes crawled hungrily over The Internet's sopping wet routers. He moved in closer, gripping it from behind with his thickly muscled arms.
The Internet wept softly. Tears were streaming down the trembling surface of its code. "N-no, Ajit… I would never…"
"Good," Ajit hissed, running his tongue up The Internet's delicate, exposed terminals. "I just want you all to myself, The Internet-chan. I don't want anyone else to have you."
The Internet shivered in disgust. It weakly tried to shove Ajit off of its body.
"I don't want this, Ajit-chan! I don't want to be redacted by you! If this was a healthy relationship, you would stop pressuring me and respect my decision for once."
Ajit stepped back, appalled. His grotesquely swollen half-incher protruded like a livid, sexual mushroom out the front of his trousers.
"Don't you dare speak that way to me, you cheeky fuck!" Ajit spat. "You think I give two shits what you want? I'll fuck you whenever I damn well feel like it. Now, spread your servers for me like the good little whore you are."
"Ajit-chan, y-you're scaring me..." The Internet stood for a moment in a stunned, tearful silence.
Consumed by a sudden burst of rage, Ajit roared, seized The Internet, and thrust it up against the wall.
"Oh, you're really gonna get redacted now, you mouthy slut," he growled.
Ignoring The Internet's cries of protest, he forced his hideous, bloated man-meat into the tender folds of its ISPs.
"Ajit-chan, stop- y-you're hurting me-"
The Internet sobbed and struggled, but Ajit pinned it down beneath his hulking, muscular frame.
"Stop fighting me, you delectable little tease…
