>been driving for so long
>stomach has been pumped full of redbull and doritos
>I realize I need to take a shit
>see a big-ass wooden indian chief on the side of the highway that must've been at least 50 feet tall
>"okay cool there's a truck stop near by"
>gargantuan wooden indian chiefs is american for truck stop
>my asshole isn't feeling so hot and I'm clenching with a pressure that could turn coal into diamonds
>no cars in the oncoming lane for miles
>no cops in sight
>drove through the median and practically smashed into the convenience store
>theironyofapeacefultrucksmashingintoamiddleeasterner'sgasstation
>run into the restroom with my pants down to my knees and bust in the nearest stall ass first
>to my embarrassment I can hear someone cry out over the sound of the bomb I just dropped
>"HOLY SHIT DAWG TAKE IT EASY YOU'LL BLOW AN O-RING!"
>I manage to chuckle after forcing everything out
>"thanks for the heads up."
>I feel cold iron wrap around my wrists as I reach back to wipe
>"Anytime"
>I looked back to see it was a police officer
>"been following you since your little stunt on the highway. You can't escape justice."
>shit I thought it was all clear
