>>3496115the worst case scenario is that she stays with me because I'm by a wide margin treating her the best she's ever been treated in her life, and we still end up having sex, but she doesn't love me back. It's not an idyllic arrangement, the shadow of what we could have had would always weigh on me. There are only two things that would keep us together, for me, seeing her healthy and well, and to be able to touch her would still bring me more happiness than I'll ever have without her. For her, as broken, ugly, and useless as she is from her perspective, she probably would think it stupid to run from this because it won't get any better.
Her leaving could be a result of either of our actions. I know she's emotionally compromised, so I may have to actually teach her how to love romantically. Assuming I don't make any progress, after months or even years, I could start to become frustrated with her. Slowly, it could hurt more and more just to even look at her. That could boil over with me verbally assaulting or kicking her out of my home. "Why won't you just love me?! I've tried and tried and tried..." Of course it would be unfair and irrational, but that's lovesick fits for you.
Alternatively, it's her who could want to find a more meaningful life and leave. She's done it before, albeit from an inconceivably bad home, yet she does have an adventurous spirit so it would surprise me if she permanently settled down for nothing but roof and cock. In spite of her scars, infertility, and losses, she always pushed into the dangerous unknown, driven by some longing that's hard to describe. I've always admired this about her, and more than anything I really, really wanted to fulfill that longing and be her paradise, but without an emotional connection, there's truly no meaning behind staying with me. I would be sad for awhile if she left, I'd try to find her and offer to help her wherever she's going, but ultimately I would likely return to my old ways eventually.
