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I wish I was allowed to die. I've formed to many connection but I have no good reasons to cut them off, I'm in too deep yet I still feel so strongly of death and pain. I want to reach out but ultimately it feels like I have no one, all I have are thew few friends I have thousands of miles away. I wish someone could be here, right next to me, to hold my hands, keep me away from the things that could harm me, just for a moment, for a time, till i'm strong enough again.