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I'm not sure if my kind of sadness is somehow relatable.
Yet I couldn't find a better place on the entire site to express it.
I'm getting conscripted soon, that's for sure. That's probably because I've failed to get the uni degree and was born with no crucial health flaws to be diagnosed. I've already said goodbye to all of my online friends. I won't have any access to the internet until I get familiar with how things work on the base where I'm to be sent. I'm not afraid of anything, yet the only fact of this 1-year-long slavery is a declaration of my personal defeat. I've not only failed to get a degree but my entire youth (and ambitions along with them). That shit changes people like nothing else. Only prison does this job better, probably. Here I face the border between the past full of unaccomplished stuff and an uncertain ocean of the future. If only I were accustomed to weeping, I would cry a decent tonne of tears.
