Quoted By:
I need advice. I know this will sound incredibly dumb, but I would greatly appreciate some genuine thoughts and opinions.
Ryōka has been my first and only waifu, since the Occultic;Nine anime first aired in October 2016. She is cheerful, bubbly, always full of energy; I absolutely adore her personality.
However, in recent months especially, I've sometimes "caught myself" having thoughts along the lines of 'Wow, I would love for Ryōka to be a little more like her' while looking at other anime girls with different personalities. And a couple of times, I thought for a moment that it would be awesome for Ryōka to have THAT personality instead, and obviously felt disgustingly guilty a moment later.
But I did never, ever even remotely think of any of those girls as "better" than Ryōka, never thought for a brief instant that they would make for a better waifu. As a paranoid, I couldn't help but think why; yes, it would have been horrible, but logic to change my waifu. So where was (is) my undying loyalty to my sweet cinnamon roll coming from?
Then, a couple of days ago, I saw a very peculiar fanart of Ryōka.
As flat as a washing board.
I know I visibly cringed, and thought "Yeah, no. F*ck this sh*t."
After that, soul-crushing self-hate. That's when I truly felt like a disgusting person. I don't think I need to explain why.
So what I wanted to ask is, is it okay for me to "love" her like this? Because I still really, really adore her personality; but I'm also debating if I'm just shallow as freak for staying with her when I've undeniably thought of other girls as "superior" when I was not (unconsciously?) considering their chest size.
I'm fully aware that this must sound stupid and that I probably need help, but as I already said at the beginning, I would appreciate some genuine thoughts and opinions immensely.
Thank you.
