>>3816401>I can't even get into the headspace because of all the abuse.Have you tried "studying" your sexual taste (whether they're positive or negative) via browsing sexual/erotic arts?
We live in times where all sorts of fetishes are available. You could learn a lot about yourself that way, little by little, at your own pace.
In the end what matters is how you feel about things, what rings true to yourself. Easier than said I know, but it's not about other people.
Once you've reached a state where you can embrace a certain amount of parts you're made of, the thoughts of opening yourself to another might become easier.
Just know that no one is expecting you to achieve complete individuation work overnight: for that kind of thing, same as for everyone else, an entire life is needed. So be easy on yourself okay, you deserve it.
