>>2170483Unhappy people think about death as some kind of release from their unhappiness, If anything that's evidence she's seeking out something. She also says that she used to look forward for that day but now fears it. What changed? She's formed new bonds, and particularly one that has made her feel happy. That's why she would be having second thoughts.
I don't think I see an instance were she tries to not be human to protect others. Again that's a situation she's forced to, but where whole character arc is about her defining herself as Rei Ayanami, a human girl rather than as Lillith.
