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I don't know if this is the right place for me to speak my thoughts, but I feel like I need to give myself a sense of closure and a farewell to Rei Ayanami.
Being a Rei Waifuist had its ups and downs for me. I originally choose her as my waifu because of how much I related to her since I was a teenage autistic weeb with a fair bit of terrible life experiences under my belt when it came to socializing with other people.
Just like any honeymoon period, it was great for the first year or so. I felt motivated and had more backbone to pursue my own path in life. I started buying a dakimakura of her, plushies, stickers, etc. I even bought a light blue sweatshirt to remind me of her hair color, like the blue sky on a clear sunny day. My love for her was like a dog on a catnip-filled rush, basically.
But like all things, it tends to die down, and I slowly went back to my original ways. Things change, and life is an ever-moving current
For me, It's hard being a waifuist when you have to imagine all the conversations and sensations, it's easy to imagine how good a certain food tastes, but the taste will never be as good as actually eating it.
I never really was meant for a relationship. Being alone was what I always wanted, even when I was pretty young.
Being with Rei as my first and last relationship has played an important step in becoming the person I am now. She helped me gain a better understanding of myself and topics such as waifuism.
I respect all Reifans and Reifags alike and wish them the best of luck in their life.
I don't know what life has in store for me, but for now I'm content with the way my life is.
Goodbye, Ayanami Rei.
