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I feel like I only have two types of RL people I can talk to. Those who wouldn't care about what I have to say, and those who I don't want to worry by talking about my problems. So, on behalf of all the people in the same situation, thanks for being here guys.
With that said, I wonder when will my worries finally break me. I always fear that I am not as good as I should be, or that I would accidentally miss some critical detail and disappoint someone who believed in me. Thanks to it I constantly overthink everything and tend to triplecheck every detail, both annoying everyone around me and making my pace slower than the rest's. Additionally, in past years, thanks to putting work on first place at the expense of meeting with other people, some trust issues and some terrible acts commited under stress I lost most of my friends. [spoiler:lit] at least it leaves me with less people i will inevitably disappoint haha [/spoiler:lit] Honestly, I'm certain I wouldn't want to be friends with me if I were someone else. The few, who somehow still seem to like me, surprise me.
I used to hope it all would somehow get better with time, or at least turn out to be worthwhile. But all hope does is making you naive and bitterly disappointing you in the end. Maybe I really should carry on like this until I finally can't do it any longer, maybe at least I'll disappoint the least people that way.
wew writing rant this long about a comparatively irrelevant problem makes me feel stupid
On an unrelated note, does anyone have more sad & depressed soldier girls?
