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Turns out that I was mistaken and don't really have a waifu. I still like her, it's just that the special fuzzy feeling faded away after a year or so.
Part of me is sad, part of me wants someone to depend on and strive for, part of me realizes how unrealistic that is and wants to work for myself.
I wish my feelings weren't so confusing, but I guess I judt wasn't made for love. If anyone here has experienced something similar, how do you cope?