>>3789542>Have you stopped for a moment to think about your next move, anon?Yes, but I still have no idea what to do, same as last year and the year before than and so on.
>What are you striving for? What great thing do you wish to do next?I still don't know. As a kid I liked playing with friends and games and cartoons and stuff. Never liked school. Liked drawing a lot and thought I'd be an artist but lost interest as a teen. In college I picked Information Systems arbitrarily and graduated 4.0 out of a desire not to feel dumb, not out of any real interest in the subject matter. Finishing now my 5th year of Real Life work. Infinite sadness. KHV, have not had a real friend in a decade or so. Very shy and anxious.
Born and raised in Calvinist environment, started questioning at like age 10 or 12 but never told anyone because I don't want to lose my family. My family are the only people I can talk with without anxiety.
I tried to get back into drawing for a few of these years but blegh I just never was able to enjoy it anywhere near like I did as a kid. Just don't care anymore.
Tried getting into writing but my only story idea was a wish-fulfillment story where I run into a childhood friend in our old church building, just the two of us, and I accidentally out myself as a non-believer to her and then discover that she too doesn't believe but kept it to herself out of fear and then we fuck in the church building right then and then. No other ideas.
Tried a YouTube channel and had a few videos that I liked, but the ideas dried up quickly.
Age 27 wage boi with no friends, indifferent to career, haven't found an alternate career yet, much sad.
I love Homura because I feel like I'm her, trapped in this cycle of trying to change things but failing year after year. Like Homura I will never give up.
