>>3561127Despair is worse. The kind of despair that nothing you do will ever be able to fix the hole in your heart. The despair that your dreams are not just unlikely, but are completely impossible. The despair of remembering the happiness you shared that was coldly ripped away. The despair of what once seemed an unshakeable faith that God or some other power would always protect you and the one you loved, vanishing into nothingness. The despair of wishing you were still naive enough to believe someone cared. The despair of knowing that if God is real, he has betrayed you. The despair of a gnawing desire for what cannot exist. The despair that nobody, no matter how close, can understand the incommunicable sorrow and pain that has befallen you.
What I wish for cannot be. Not now, not ever. Not on earth nor in heaven.
