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I'm a bit of a normie. I worked very hard going to school and working two jobs to provide. I neglected my mental health and I know it showed up on my face and I felt that people were repulsed by me but I didn't care. I'm where I wanted to be. I have a stable job with reasonable hours and I'm finding myself with a lot of downtime and money. I have my own place and I'm independent. Going so far to buy a portable clothes washer so I don't have to go to my parents house to wash my clothes. I should be happy now that I've cut the cord with such a toxic and manipulating family, but I'm not. I want to provide for someone again. I want feel a warmth knowing I caused another person to smile. But I always stumble over my words and I can't understand people no matter how hard I try. It's hard for me to feel empathy and shit. Should I seek help? What if I have something scary and I get my guns taken away. I'm not a violent person in fact I'm somewhat ashamed that I don't confront people that are disrespectful to me more.
Anyway long tangent over but I needed to type that out and I have no one to tell in my life besides my cats
