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Now questions are piling up inside me, should I continue? Or should I ignore her? Am I fine with this different Toko or do I want to give her up? Do I have any hope for being with people outside? Do I even care if my choice will lead me to become a genetic dead end? Can I even be with a different woman even if I don't love her as much as Toko? Can I fulfill my role as a human? Can I stop disappointing my parents? Or will my nihilism win?
What the hell is this situation really? Is my love really that strong? Can insanity be reversible?
Should I really listen to my tulpa?
"Let me go." she said when I first met her.
"Maybe you should let me rest in peace after all, forget about me, move on." she said on last trip.
There was no hatred in her words each time, her voice was filled with melancholy and care. Wishing the best for me. She wants me to stay sane more than I do myself.
I don't know what to do. I really don't.
